Mi hermosa fea.
I can't find words to describe what me and everyone are going through right now
I just came back from work as always hoping to login and find you there waiting to tell me you love me and talk with you about each other's day,
tell some silly jokes, complain about how stressful its been on the server/work. Only to see the first thing in facebook is that we lost you.
I hate myself because the other night i was tired and you logged in right when i was going offline bc i had to work all day the next day, I didn't even say hello i just tought "I'll explain it to her tomorrow" and last night I waited online even longer than i was supposed to but you didn't log in so i tought "She might be really tired, ill talk to her tomorrow then".
Only god knows how much love i feel for you Sister, how many messages we sent, how many hours of call through discord when you asked me to see what i was playing when i was not in PA, I decided many different times to retire from the game but i couldn't stay out for longer than a few months I was always thinking about you and how much peace you made me feel, so always came back to the game.
I also hate myself for deleting almost all our screenshots to get more free space on my disk thinking "Later we can take more" or " We are always together i don't need them" "She is always taking screenshots herself, she will save them up", this is all I could find saved on my pc, hope I find more somewhere else.
Even knowing how much times you told me "Any day could be my last day" I was always in denial and thinking it was just a bad joke and it would never happen, now even though I feel guilty I forgive myself cuz i know you always loved me, I know we were there for each other.
You were my safe place
When i was feeling bad for a girl you were there
When i was feeling hated by everyone you were there
When my grandma passed away you were there
When i was thinking about ending my life you were there, you gave me a reality check and made me think about everything
You made me feel loved, you made me feel someone, you made me feel peace, you made me feel i was special every single time you told me I was your "Peque", and even knowing it wasn't true when you told me I was your favourite feo i felt really special.
It's not only me who lost you, we all lost you, nothing will be the same never again.
I only used to log in to the game to talk with you and to make you feel comfortable by seeing me online on the vip list even if we didnt talk for hours, I wont give up my dear, I will achieve all my goals in game and in life cuz I know they were not only mine but yours too, I always felt really happy when you got something good and you felt the same way when i did even the smallest thing, like looting some stone ingame or eating something tasty IRL.
We may not be linked by blood, but you will forever be my sister.
Te amo Cecilia, sé que esas palabras siempre fueron dificiles de decir para ti y te quedabas en un "te quiero mucho" pero creéme que las palabras no son necesarias para expresar lo que sentías, yo sé que también me amabas aunque no lo afirmaras con una frase.
Hermana de mi corazón, te amo, te amo y te vuelvo a amar, de verdad me duele en el alma saber que te fuiste así sin avisarme y espero en Dios que si hay algo después de la muerte haber sido lo suficientemente bueno para ir hacia donde tu vas.
I hope we can all get through this together, we will never forget you.
R.I.P por siempre mi fea, mi linda, mi chechy, mi olorosa, mi hermana.
I will forever be your feo, your peque, your brother